It still hurts

I cant help it, it hurts. I cant open my eyes without thinking about it. I dream about it.. most of the times i dont remember ... but you know how i know it was about that? i get this pain in my chest when i wake up and i know what the dream was about. The pain, the feelings whatever i do they dont go away. There isnt an hour in the day when i dont think about it. Its just inside me and i feel like i cant be free of it. I cursed it so much, i cried at every shrine i went to. I wanted it to hurt like it hurt me, i wanted its heart to burn like my heart was burning. Some messed up things in life cant be fixed. I wish it could. I would give my whole soul for it :(.

I had this one request that i cant ask because I never got a chance to ask it, so i write it here so that i wont forget it.

It was never the right time... but if one day i found it again at the right time in the right place in the right world would i get a chance to have it again . Thats my request, thats what i want, an answer to that my question.